Falling Slowly
by LuckyStar815
Summary: A selfless doctor. A mysterious intern. Some things are true whether you believe in them or not and some chances are worth taking. All you need to do is let yourself fall. AU. Collaboration with Maxipoo1024.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **_This short story is a kind of crossover between Twilight and the movie City of Angels, which belong to their respectful owners, but we took liberties with them both. __The __Giving __Tree __belongs __to __Shel __Silverstein. __Title inspired by Glen Hansard's song Falling Slowly. __No copyright infringement intended._

**A/N:** _Thanks to my lovely collaborator Maxipoo1024 and our pre-readers Detochkina, BoobieD, and Jtmd24. Special thanks to Rochelle Allison for picking this story in the Season of Our Discontent contest. _

__There are only three chapters, and I will post it within this week.__

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><p><strong>FALLING SLOWLY<strong>

She stood by the window, impassively watching the raindrops rolling down into intricate rivulets. It was dark outside and no matter how hard she tried to make out the familiar ghostly silhouette, she failed.

"Come to me," she whispered, tracing the patterns the rain had drawn on the cool glass with her fingers. "Let me see you. Please. I need to talk to you."

She held her breath, straining to hear any indication that she wasn't alone in the room. There was none.

She sighed and it suddenly occurred to her that he might be waiting for her in a different place—in the place where she had left him.

She turned abruptly, grabbed her car keys from the rack and rushed out of her house into the raging storm.

What she didn't know was that he was there. He was always there and this time was no different.

xxxxxxx

"What was your favorite thing?" he asked.

"Chocolate," a girl answered.

"Chocolate?" He raised his brows, amused.

"Don't you like it?"

"Um… I've never tasted it."

The girl sighed. "Poor you. Being an angel sucks."

He just laughed and took her hand. "Come on. He's waiting for you."

There were things he loved about his job and there were things he hated. Guiding humans on their way to the other side was a thing that brought meaning to his existence. Some of them came with him readily, yet others struggled, unwilling to part with the ones they loved or just being afraid of the unknown. He knew how to give them peace and comfort, but he loathed taking them away from their world nevertheless. There was something inexplicable about the seemingly mundane life of humans that never ceased to fascinate him.

"Tough night, Edward?" Jasper asked with a smirk.

Jasper was his friend but unlike Edward, he wasn't taking lives—his job was to guard them. They were sitting on the top of the Space Needle like they did every day at dawn, watching the glow of a plane crash in the distance.

"She was just a kid." Edward shook his head. "I wonder sometimes why He does that. She hasn't even had a life."

"I thought by now you'd know better than to ask His master plan." Jasper laughed. "Maybe He wants to give her something better than that? "

"Maybe. How about you? Had some fun?"

"Oh, yeah. I broke one of my guy's alarm clock, so he was late for that plane."

"Always so creative." Edward snorted.

"You have no idea. My existence would be boring if those humans didn't challenge me with their ever changing technology. Took me a while to figure out that particular clock," Jasper grumbled. "I should apply for advance training courses."

"A challenge... I'd like some challenge," Edward said thoughtfully. "I'm so bored of predictability."

"Be careful what you wish for." Jasper lazily observed the slowly moving traffic beneath them and stood up. "I have to go. Mr. Crowley just got his drivers' license and bought an old Toyota. He's going to drive to work every day." He rolled his eyes. "Are you still complaining about predictability?"

"Good luck with that."

They both laughed at their private joke and left their meeting place to start their daily routines.

xxxxxxx

Only her second week on the job, Isabella Swan had adjusted quite nicely. She was the youngest and most promising Pediatric Oncologist in the greater Phoenix area, so there wasn't a doubt about her ability to perform her duties in a new town. She received a sterling recommendation from the Chief of Staff at Phoenix Children's Hospital. She certainly had a gift. The children loved her and her determination and refusal to fail only made her a better doctor. The only thing he questioned was her rapport with her peers. She never made an effort to socialize during or after her shifts. It was almost as if her mind followed one track. _Save these children. _Nothing else mattered, not a personal life and certainly not inane water-cooler chatter. It wasn't good for a person to be so closed off from the world. The chief put aside his own reservations and filled out the transfer paperwork. He hoped whatever she was avoiding, whatever kept her late in the lab and uninterested in a social life, wouldn't rear its ugly head in Seattle. Little did he know, she was going back to Seattle to face it head on.

She walked down the sterile and frigid hallway. What was it about hospitals having to be so cold? It was more than a temperature she mused about. She knew bacteria breeds better in a warmer environment, but would it kill anyone to make this place actually feel like a home? Phoenix was the same way. All she wanted was different lighting, maybe a few pictures that the children had drawn, hanging in the lobby. She wanted the children to feel at home. A lot of these kids came here to die. _Not if I have anything to do about it,_ she thought. She wanted them to have any bit of happiness she could offer in the meantime.

She kept her head held high, looking straight on, careful not to make eye-contact that someone would mistake as an open invitation to talk to her. Her determination was apparent in her brown, impenetrable eyes which were more black than brown. Almond-shaped with just enough hardness around the edges, people could tell she was hurting or had been hurt, but they knew better than to try and fix it. As she made her way down the hallway to the lab, she paid no attention the lean and muscular form standing next to the nurse station. Judging by the swarm of women huddled around, she knew exactly who it was. She picked up her pace, praying she would walk by undetected.

A sweet and spicy scent, like her favorite Turkish coffee, assaulted her as she came closer. She took a deep breath and laughed. Yesterday it was similar to a Kenyan blend. Now that she recalled, he always smelled of some type of coffee. _Must be a big coffee drinker, _she thought. Not that she minded. Isabella fell in love with the stuff, trying to stay awake as she worked double shifts during her internship. She became dependent on it as she spent countless nights in the lab, alone, testing different treatments out. Now, it was one of the few pleasures she allowed herself. She had visited Pike Place and took part in her own Coffee Crawl, walking to her favorite coffee shops and sampling her favorite brews and decided it would be a monthly indulgence.

She shifted her eyes to her left, briefly glancing at the perfectly coiffed, blond Adonis that ensnared the affections of the entire female population at Seattle Children's Hospital. His pale blue eyes were always so clear and kind. His voice ever so soothing, like wind chimes dangling in a thick summer breeze. She liked him as a person and a professional, but she was far too busy to be caught up in the game of vying for his attention. As she passed, he instantly turned around and offered her a genuine smile, only to receive tight, thin lips in return. He shook his head and sighed.

Once Carlisle Cullen had made a choice that would alter his entire existence, he came to Seattle as a surgeon. His vast knowledge of the human body, and condition for that matter, made him an asset in any emergency room. He had an impeccable track record, saving every life he encountered. He operated on everything from gun-shot wounds to tumors. It was no wonder he made Chief of Staff in a very short time. Some of his co-workers held grudges, mostly the men. They felt he didn't work hard enough or long enough for the position of esteem. Some even went so far as to say it was all about who he knew. In some regard, they were right.

So, as Chief of Staff, Dr. Cullen was still very much involved in the day to day decisions that helped save lives as a whole. After all, if the hospital didn't run smoothly, lives would be lost. He still longed for that one on one interaction; he craved the feeling of warmth that flooded him when he touched someone's life so intimately.

Ignoring his clerical duties, he placed the charts he was reviewing on the counter top.

"Isabella, I was just about to come find you." He placed his hand on her shoulder and guided her towards the edge of the corridor, away from the prying eyes of the nurses he left behind.

"Good afternoon, Chief. Did I do something wrong?"

"Oh, no." He chuckled. "I just wanted to see how you were adjusting. I've heard great things from some of the patients' parents. You really are wonderful with kids."

She blushed slightly, the faintest pink forming on her high cheek bones. The color only added beauty to her heart-shaped face.

"Thank you, Chief. They deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. Just because they are kids, doesn't mean they don't understand what is going on. I don't make promises I can't keep, but I promise to try my hardest to save them. More times than not, my hardest has been enough."

He smiled at her and closed his eyes for a moment as if receiving guidance from above. Isabella watched him with rapt attention, focusing on the delicate blond lashes. He really was a gorgeous man.

"I have someone I'd like you to meet if you have time."

She nodded and followed him down to the isolation ward. They stood outside the large, glass window, watching as a little boy held out his thin arm for a nurse to take his blood pressure. The cuff was far too big, even though it was children's size. His bald head was covered by an Orioles baseball cap.

"His name is Seth. His mother is a single parent and works full-time. She only comes to visit every other Saturday," Carlisle continued.

Isabella read over the prognosis on Seth's chart. She bit on her lower lip, frowning as she realized he was too far gone.

"Sir, I don't think there is anything I can do for him. My treatments are still awaiting approval to start trials. And even if they were approved..." She trailed off with a long exhale, her shoulders slumping in the process. She hated to admit defeat, but she would not jeopardize any semblance of a normal life this boy had left.

"Oh, dear girl, I'm not asking you to save his life. I only want you to enrich what's left of it. You were so good with the others, and he is so lonely, I figured..." He looked past her and saw a familiar face walking towards them. "...Excuse me for one moment."

Without a second thought, Isabella reached for a mask and a smock. She made sure she used the hand-sanitizer before entering the room. She walked over to Seth's bed and pulled up a chair. The nurse finished making her notations and left them alone.

"Hi there, buddy. My name is Bella. What's yours?" She smiled with her eyes since her mouth was covered for his protection. She made an impulsive decision calling herself Bella. That was the name her mother called her but something about the boy made her feel the warmth she had been missing for so long.

"Seth. Are you going to poke me with needles?" the boy asked.

She shook her head and gave him a sympathetic look. "No, not at all. I actually came to spend some time with you. A little birdie told me you like baseball and I am a huge fan, so I figured we could watch the game together." She reached over to the bedside table and flipped through the channels to find the Mariners game. She had no interest in baseball, but the boy's baseball hat told her she could give it a try. Her intuition was spot on, yet again.

"I don't really like this team," he explained.

She didn't know much about either team but the names seemed familiar. "Well, if you had to choose one, who would you root for?"

"Angels are pretty cool. They have wings and halos and get to hang out in heaven. I bet you they will win anyway because they're God's team, right?"

His logic touched her. It was the reason she only wanted to work with children. They were so innocent and perceptive. The way they saw the world was the way it was meant to be. She settled comfortably in her chair and watched the game, cheering for the Anaheim Angels in unison with him. She didn't have the heart or courage to tell him angels weren't real and God didn't exist. If he did, how could he taint the world by taking the lives of children or her mother for that matter? He created beauty and love only to destroy it when he saw fit. No, she wouldn't accept that. She didn't know how, but she would try to save this boy's life.

xxxxxxx

Edward visited Seattle Children's Hospital almost every day. Even when he wasn't on duty, he found himself drawn to that place. Unseen by humans, he liked to watch doctors struggle to save the lives of their little patients. Deep inside, he found it quite pathetic because he knew how futile those attempts were, but it was their strength of mind that amazed him.

He knew that there was a value to human lives, but he just couldn't grasp the very essence of it; it was a mystery he spent an eternity trying to find a solution to. He could read the minds of each and every single human, and yet he couldn't perceive it. That was why, when he guided them on their way to another world, he always asked what they liked best about their lives. He even tried to categorize the answers, but it didn't make it easier because he failed to understand _how_ things like sex or food made life worth living. One old woman even told him that most of all she loved her cat—that didn't make any sense at all but stirred his curiosity even more.

Children's minds were especially interesting for him to read. They managed to find joy in simple things and when he came after them, they were excited about the journey, their only regret being having to leave their parents alone. There was something special about the kids that had cancer and knew they would die. It seemed to him that they felt his presence even when he only came to watch, like today. Edward never felt pain himself, just like he knew no cold or hunger; human senses were uncharted territory for him, but hearing them think of it was enough to twist something inside of him. He wished he had the ability to save them from misery, but he couldn't take them before the time stated in his job assignments had come. He didn't need to visit them beforehand but he did anyway, guided by his ever present curiosity—he simply wanted to know them better.

He had been watching that kid, Seth, for a while now. For such a little man, Seth displayed incredible courage. He faced his illness head on, never cried or complained about being in pain. And in pain he was; Edward knew it. He also knew that Seth missed his mom and his dog Wolf. When nobody was watching, Seth wrote a story about Wolf the Superdog who saved the world, unaware that he had one very attentive and thankful reader.

Edward usually came to see Seth in the afternoons when the boy was left alone to rest after treatments. He wasn't there yesterday because he had an urgent assignment, and he smiled on his way, anticipating to hear more about Wolf's adventures. Today it wasn't going to happen. Today, Seth had a visitor.

She was sitting in the chair next to the boy's bed, looking uncomfortable. She was wearing a smock and a mask so Edward couldn't see her face, only her big dark eyes. He knew every member of the hospital staff, and he assumed she must have been a new employee since he hadn't seen her before. Except doctors or nurses didn't watch TV with their patients. Something here was unusual and he was determined to find out what.

He listened to Seth's thoughts but the boy was occupied with a baseball game, making Edward smile to himself when he heard, "Go, Angels! Go!"

So he switched his attention to the woman.

He heard nothing. Not a single thought.

She was silent.

Well, not literally silent, because she commented on the game and cheered out loud… but her mind was like a book he couldn't open.

_It's impossible_, he thought.

And yet, there she was, the first mind in the infinity of his celestial lifetime that he couldn't read. He moved closer and stood in front of her, trying to peer into her eyes and maybe find an answer there… and as he did, she looked straight at him as if she could see him.

_Impossible,_ he thought again,_ humans can't see angels._ Taken aback, he kept staring into her eyes, mesmerized by their depth, by the inconceivable sadness that filled them. He could sense sheer determination and strong will that made her gaze quite stern.

When Seth fell asleep, Edward followed her into the hallway. She removed her mask and he could finally discern her delicate features. She looked like she had just stepped out of one of a Renaissance painting. She was beautiful. Exquisite. And really sad. He noticed the corners of her lips twitch as she paused with her hand on the door knob and sighed. It was so much more than just compassion and sadness; her features carried traces of deep pain. What he wouldn't give to find out the reasons and take it all away.

And when she turned on her heel and started walking away, he knew he was a goner. He would never find peace of mind until he had solved the mystery that was she. So he made a decision. He would become her shadow, watching and waiting for any piece of information that she unintentionally let slip, eventually piecing it together to form the picture before him.

He had no idea how hard that would be. Two days later, he wasn't an inch closer to his goal. All he managed to find out from reading the minds of the other staff was that her name was Isabella and she was a new Pediatric Oncologist. She clearly wasn't a sociable person; she tended to avoid her coworkers, which was easy being a newcomer. She ate her lunches at her lab table, engrossed in reading her new patients' charts. Edward took notice of how her demeanor changed when she was around kids, how the deep crease on her forehead disappeared. The force with which she plunged into work, giving herself up completely, was striking. Edward found himself drawn to her not merely by curiosity anymore but by admiration.

At the end of the second day, he followed her home like a stray dog, hoping to find any answers in the things she surrounded herself with. He was breaking the rules; he knew it—she wasn't one of his job assignments and he wasn't supposed to violate her privacy, but he just couldn't stop himself.

Isabella drove a small old car. _Unsafe_, he thought, _whoever guards her better be good at their job. _Her house was small as well. She must have moved quite recently because there was a pile of unpacked boxes in the hall. She lived alone and the only thing indicating other people in her life was an old photo of a woman that she kept on her nightstand. _Her mother, maybe? _

Usually human body, or females for that matter, held no interest for him, but for some reason he couldn't take his eyes away from Isabella as she undressed and sank into a bath with a glass of wine. As he watched her, he caught himself enjoying the silence of her mind. It was unusually comforting to be around someone whose thoughts didn't interrupt his own.

She closed her eyes and rested her head on the back of the tub. Although her mind was silent to Edward, her own thoughts violently raced through her mind. The wine helped dull the ache but never completely erased the pain. After another long gulp from her glass, Isabella sighed. It was impossible to get comfortable since her visit with Seth at the hospital. With one leg propped up on the edge of the tub, tiny beads of water dripped down her dancer's calve. No longer a dancer by choice, she still maintained the dancer's body. As she tried to unwind, she couldn't shake the feeling of dread and uneasiness she felt in Seth's room, almost as if someone was watching her, prying into her life. Taking a deep breath, she let herself sink into the tub. Deep under the water, she still felt a presence hovering over her. A chill set in her bones and she decided it was time to get out.

When she emerged from the bathroom and curled up in her bed, he prepared to leave but lingered at her bookshelf. He found it amusing that she hadn't unpacked her clothes and utensils but her books were already placed there in the perfect order. They were mostly American classics: Hemingway, James, Sallinger... He smiled to himself as a tattered cover of _Romeo and Juliette_ caught his eye. It seemed out of place, like a delicate flower in a concrete jungle. He listened to the sounds of her steady heartbeat and even breathing, indicating that she was asleep, and soundlessly pulled the book out. The story of star-crossed lovers was the most intriguing thing he had ever read, their raw emotions totally beyond his comprehension yet so inexplicably alluring.

A sudden gasp broke the silence, startling him; he turned quickly only to realize that she was still fast asleep. She must have been having a nightmare because even though her eyes were closed, her breathing became erratic. She gasped again, this time sound coming out more like a stifled cry. In no time, he was at her side and before processing his own actions, reached out and wiped a teardrop running down her cheek.

Her heart skipped a beat.

It was impossible because she couldn't feel his touch, but Edward was sure he heard it. Something had shifted. She was still breathing heavily, but her features softened as if her pain had finally abated, as if his ethereal touch had somehow managed to wipe it out.

He hesitated no longer. The fine line between right and wrong was obliterated as he leaned in and pressed his lips to her forehead.

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><p><em>AN: __Thanks for reading! I hope you like it. __Let me know what you think! _

_There is a banner and a video teaser on my profile. Check it out. _

_Next update on Wednesday.  
><em>


	2. Chapter 2

xxxxxxx

The early morning sun seared her eyelids. Bella opened her eyes and slowly sat up. For the first time in ages, her body didn't ache and she was completely covered by blankets. The wine must have kept the nightmares at bay. She made her way to the bathroom, showered, and emerged, feeling refreshed and ready to face her day, smiling as she anticipated spending time with Seth.

She sat in what became "her chair" and read to the boy.

"This story stinks," Seth exclaimed.

"The best part is coming up. You have to wait till the end," Bella assured him.

"But the boy is so mean to the tree. All he does is take from her. What's the point?"

She continued to read:

" 'I am sorry,' sighed the tree. 'I wish that I could give you something but I have nothing left. I am just an old stump.'

'I don't need very much now,' said the boy. 'Just a quiet place to sit and rest. I am very tired.'

'Well," said the tree, straightening herself up as much as she could, "well, an old stump is good for sitting and resting. Come, boy, sit down. Sit down and rest.' And the boy did. And the tree was happy."

"Do you see?" she asked. Seth just shrugged. "When you love someone, it doesn't matter what you give up for them...as long as they're happy."

"But what about the tree? Why was she happy if she had nothing left?"

She held his hand in hers and stroked the top with her thumb. "Giving him what he needed made her happy."

Seth started to cough violently and Bella eyed the monitors. She swiftly moved over to the oxygen and altered the flow, making sure the constant IV drip was flowing properly. The boy stared at her, unnerved by her actions. She leaned over him and took off her mask so he could really see her. The mask was unnecessary now and it killed her.

"Seth, are you okay?"

"I'm dying." His voice was calm.

Bella wanted to object but she couldn't. There was a lump in her throat as she nodded and took off his baseball cap. She placed a kiss on his bald head as a tear spilled onto him. "I'm so sorry."

He smiled. "Hey, I'm all wet."

She smiled back at him and wiped her eyes.

"Bella, it's okay. I'm not scared. The angels will bring me to heaven..."

She had to look away, unwilling to lie to him. As she faced the window to the hallway, she saw Carlisle staring at her.

"I have to go but I will be back later. I promise."

Bella started to walk to the door, but Seth's soft voice stopped her in her tracks. "You are my giving tree. You gave me everything I needed so when I'm gone, you should be happy because you made me happy."

She smiled through her tears and gave him a delicate wave before rushing out and slumping on the floor, resting against the door. She silently wept for the boy, muffling her cries into her knees. The smell of coffee assaulted her before she felt him. His hand was on her shoulder and she looked up.

"Do you want to come to my office?"

She nodded and Carlisle helped her stand.

He settled her into the leather couch, gave her a cashmere blanket and brought her a warm cup of tea. She couldn't help but chuckle.

"Although it's wonderful to hear you laugh, what's so funny?" he asked.

"I thought you would have brought me coffee. Whenever you're around, all I smell is coffee. I didn't take you for a tea drinker..."

Carlisle turned away from her to hide his own smirk. She was much more perceptive than he originally thought.

"Are you upset about Seth?"

"It won't be long now." She sniffled and wiped her nose with the kleenex she had shredded to pieces in her hand. "I'm used to this. Believe me, I am. It's just harder than I thought it would be.

"Maybe you're in the wrong line of work," Carlisle suggested. "Don't get me wrong. You are an excellent doctor. I would hate to lose you. But the pain...if you can't let it go, it will eat you alive."

"I came to terms with death a long time ago. When my mother died, it ruined me. No one knew she had cancer. Ovarian...fast moving and inoperable. How do you tell a sixteen year old girl that her mother won't be there for her first date, her first kiss, her prom, her wedding... Well, she didn't. I guess she thought it would be easier for me not to know. And just like that, she was gone."

"We all do our best," Carlisle reassured her. "I'm sure your mother was just trying to protect you. And look at what you've done with your life because of it. You have helped countless children and their families. Without you, those children would never get their first dates or kisses."

She huffed and looked up from her cup. "I became a doctor so I could help people and laugh in God's face every time He tried to take someone's loved one away from them. Do you believe in God, Dr. Cullen?"

He let out a small chuckle. "Do you?" he asked.

"I think you know my answer," she replied stoically. "I believe in medicine. God doesn't fix people, medicine does."

Carlisle frowned. Isabella's pain radiated off of her in fierce waves. This woman was so broken and bitter, he was afraid it would consume her. He hoped that Seth would help her open up, break down her walls. His plan had backfired and he needed divine intervention. Lucky for him, he felt it in the room the minute Isabella started to speak.

Edward had known Carlisle Cullen since his first day at the hospital and found him one of a kind. For such a young person—he was in his mid-forties—Carlisle was wise like he carried a weight of ages on his shoulders. That's why it didn't surprise Edward when it was Carlisle who finally managed to make Isabella speak. Edward decided not to follow her, allowing her some privacy after a hard day. He lingered in Carlisle's office, thinking over what he'd just heard when suddenly a voice, resounding in his head, interrupted his reverie.

_I can't see you but I know you're there,_ Carlisle thought, looking at some papers on his desk. _You've been hangin' around for a while._

Edward froze to his spot. He deliberated for a second which felt like an eternity, and then curiosity won.

When Carlisle lifted up his eyes, at the faraway end of his office, by the bookshelf, he saw a man in his early twenties, dressed casually in jeans, a t-shirt, Converse sneakers and a hoodie, his hair messy as if he had spend some time in a heavy wind. A typical student, if not for a strange yet familiar tint of gold in his bright green eyes that looked too weary for someone that young.

"Who are you?" the uninvited guest asked.

"I'm Carlisle, though you surely know it," Carlisle said, politely motioning to the chair in front of him. "Nice to finally meet you. What's your name?"

"Edward." He didn't move.

A wide smile plastered across Carlisle's face. "I missed the way your voice sounds. So melodic."

Edward kept staring at him in breathless suspense.

"You look really good, too," Carlisle continued. "I remember how good everyone looked when they gathered together to watch the break of dawn... but what's the point if you can't see colors the sun paints in the sky?"

"But how..." Edward wondered.

"Why are you here? I don't feel like I'm dying."

"You're not dying."

"Who are you after, then?"

"It's the kid," Edward said quietly. "Seth."

Carlisle sighed. "Of course."

"You didn't answer my question."

"When you decide to be seen, your body is a perfect replica of a young man but you have the eyes of an old soul," Carlisle observed casually, "Your heartbeat is always steady and your blood doesn't have a type. You breathe though you don't need air and you have sharp eyes but you can't see colors. You don't feel hunger and if you eat food, you don't taste it. You know no difference between hot and cold..." He paused. "You don't believe in God because you know that some things are true whether you believe in them or not." _And right now, you're reading my mind._

Edward couldn't take his eyes from Carlisle's, equally confused and mesmerized. He moved closer and took a seat in the chair, although his body didn't need rest. "How do you know all this?"

"You have no idea how good it feels to finally be able to talk about it after all these years without the risk of being locked up in a mental hospital." Carlisle leaned his head against the smooth, cool leather of his armchair, reveling in the sensation. "I know this because I used to be just like you. An angel who took humans from their lives and guided them to the doors of a place that looks like a church. I wonder...how is Alice doing? I do miss her."

"She's fine." Edward's voice was merely a breath.

"Anyway, I never liked my job. I never understood why He wanted to take those who deserved to live and enjoy life."

"Because He wants to give them something better." There was no more confidence as Edward spoke.

"Yes, or so they say." Carlisle nodded. "I've never been satisfied with that answer. The other thing, however, I've always known for sure: He granted us free will."

"Free will?"

"A choice. You give up your ethereal existence and in return, you get _this_." He placed his hand flat on his chest. "Flesh and bone."

"A human." Comprehension finally hit Edward.

"It wasn't easy to choose, though," Carlisle admitted. "I always wanted to save human lives, and yet I was reluctant because it wasn't easy to quit, to let go of the possibilities... There were parts of being an angel that I really loved: the wings, the mind reading thing, the music they play at the sunset. But it all became irrelevant when I met _her_." He reached into his pocket and produced his wallet.

"My wife, Esme." Carlisle took out a small photograph and put it on the desk between them.

Edward held out his hand tentatively, pulling a picture closer to take a look. There was a smiling woman with soft features and caramel-colored hair; the image was familiar after seeing it in Carlisle's head so many times before. "She's beautiful."

"She is. But when I first saw her, in the hospital, she was covered with purple bruises and barely alive. Her husband had almost beaten her to death... And that was the last straw... As I stood there watching this _angel_ suffering, I no longer believed in His justice. What kind of God allowed such things to happen?" Carlisle's voice trembled, straining to contain his anger. "So I made a choice."

Edward looked at him in disbelief. "How did you do it?"

Carlisle chuckled. "I fell. Literally. From the top of Space Needle. You can ask Alice—she suggested it. So I did it, and then I woke up on the ground, overwhelmed by sensations. Pain. Hunger. Colors. Smells. Heat. It was almost too much, but I felt so happy, so excited..."

A thousand thoughts run through Edward's head. The things he couldn't even wish for appeared to be possible and he had no idea how to live with this knowledge. "But you... you had no name, no place to go, no money..."

"Not exactly." Carlisle smiled, shaking his head. "I came into this world fully prepared. Again, not without Alice's help. She told me to find a guy, Jason Jenks, who provided me with an ID, a driver's license, a Harvard Medical School diploma, and some money. I wasn't supposed to ask but I assumed he was one of us and he owed Alice... like we all do."

"So that was it?" Edward asked after a pause. "Just that simple? And you don't regret it?"

Carlisle nodded. "It was a bit awkward at first, took a while to get used to my human body and its constant needs. But no, I have no regret. I think I made the right choice. I can use all the knowledge I have gained through the centuries to help people and that's the most amazing thing to do. I feel so accomplished. You have no idea... Of course you don't," he muttered, taking his wallet again and producing another photo. "My kids, Emmett and Rosalie."

Edward shot a brief glance at the picture, suddenly overfilled with some emotion unbeknownst to him before. Those pictures now had a whole new meaning to him. "You can even reproduce... that's incredible."

"I told you, I have become human. I can reproduce and I can get sick and die, though I've been very careful with this body. And when I die, you'll take me to the threshold of your church."

Edward shifted in his chair. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Like I said, it's such a relief to finally open to someone. I've been sensing your presence and it made me curious. Why are you here, Edward? I know that boy is in bad shape, but you've been here for a while. Did they expand your duties so that you watch your charges beforehand?"

Edward looked away quickly, trying to come up with something but he failed. If he were human, his face would flash red because he couldn't lie.

"I come here often," he admitted with an unnecessary sigh. "The work of you and your colleagues fascinates me. And the patients, especially kids... I like to watch them. You're right—I can read every mind in this hospital. Except one. It's very frustrating."

Carlisle raised his brows. He liked Edward instantly. He blocked this from his thoughts, just in case, because it made him vulnerable but the feeling of compassion overwhelmed him. Edward and his desire for learning humans reminded him of himself. "Who?"

"It's a woman, a new doctor. Her name is Isabella."

Carlisle moved forward and rested his elbows on his desk. _Hmmm... Not surprising. There's something about her...I'm wondering, is it just you or she's blocking everyone else as well?_

"I have no way of knowing this," Edward snapped, suddenly irritated at the thought.

"I can imagine how it feels," Carlisle said softly. "Like a puzzle that resists being solved."

"Exactly." Edward nodded. Suddenly he felt relief, something close to a catharsis of sharing one's biggest secret with someone else.

A kind smile crossed Carlisle's features. He didn't try to block his mind this time, but his train of thoughts ran too fast for Edward to follow and make any conclusions.

"I can help you," he finally said. "But I will ask you for a favor in return."

Edward was staring at him breathlessly. He didn't trust Carlisle like he didn't trust any of his own kind.

"I can make you an intern here," Carlisle continued. "You will pretend to help with her work. You will be able to talk to her and maybe eventually she will open up to you. And in return, I'm asking you to become her friend. She really needs one—she's very lonely."

Edward felt like something important was missing. It couldn't be that simple. "What's the catch?" he asked.

"There is none." Carlisle smiled wide. "Aren't you too sarcastic for an angel?"

Edward chose not to dwell on that comment. "What is your interest?"

"I really like Isabella. She's a good person and she deserves to have a shoulder to cry on, even if that shoulder belongs to an incorporeal body."

"How do you know I can be a good friend to her?" Edward was watching Carlisle intently, trying to read something behind the deep eyes.

"I just know." Carlisle sighed. "How long does the boy have left?"

"A week."

Carlisle closed his eyes for a moment and his mind went blank. It was harder than he thought it would be.

"I don't know how to be her friend," Edward finally said. "But I really want to try."

Carlisle got up from his chair and approached Edward, reaching out his hand for a handshake. Hesitantly, Edward took it and tried to squeeze.

"Not so rough." Carlisle winced. "Okay, that's fine. So I'll see you tomorrow at eight."

Edward got up and nodded. Before Carlisle could utter another word, he was gone like he'd never stood in that room.

That night he broke his resolve to let Isabella have some privacy. He needed to know something, anything more about her if he wanted to try to be her friend.

When he reached her house, he found her at her desk, in front of her laptop. He took a peek from behind her back to notice she was reading something related to her work. It seemed that whatever was going on in her mind, it always had to do with medicine.

The words started to blur and lose their meaning. It was futile. No matter how much she read and reread, the prognosis wouldn't change. Seth would die within the next couple of days. His body had completely shut down; his lungs struggled to work and his kidneys were failing. All the research she had done over the years, all the medical advancements she made, it would never be enough. Bella quickly snapped her book shut and got up from her desk, slamming her chair.

She scurried into her bedroom, opened her closet door, and threw some items into a canvas bag. Then she draped the bag over her shoulder and made her way out of her house.

The raindrops hit the windshield like the tears rolling down her cheeks. It had only been a short time since Seth came into her life, but she knew there was something special about him. It was the first time she let herself get attached. The way he looked at her like she was his whole world only made things worse. It ate her up inside to know that his own mother couldn't be there and hers was never coming back.

Enchanted, Edward watched as she emerged from the dressing room wearing a black leotard with thin spaghetti straps. Her hair was twisted into a messy bun, exposing her long neck and delicate collarbone. Tights, the palest of pink, almost made her legs look bare. Slowly, she tied her pointe shoes, wrapping the ribbons securely around her ankles. She did a quick warm up of releves and plies before walking over to the stereo and turning it on. The track seemed like it was stripped with delicate piano notes and a girl's haunting voice—perfect for her mood and her dance.

The words coming from the speakers were as devastatingly beautiful as her movements. Her long arms extended like she was reaching for someone. Her turn outs were controlled and balance impeccable. She arched her back, dipping dangerously low, as if a weight was being ripped from her chest. As the song reached a crescendo, she spun and spun, one perfect pirouette after another. She spun so fast and so bright she was unraveling. All her pain falling away, leaving open and vulnerable to life for the first time.

xxxxxxx

At eight the next morning, Edward stood by Carlisle's desk, wearing hospital scrubs.

Carlisle leaned in and pinned a badge onto his lapel. "Your name is Edward Masen. You're a Pediatric Oncology intern."

"Where did I study?"

"John Hopkins. So, are you ready to see your first patient today?"

Edward nodded. For the first time ever, he didn't feel confidence.

"Good luck." Carlisle winked.

After another sleepless night, Isabella trudged into the hospital, dreading and cherishing the moment at the same time. Seth's time was limited but she wanted to spend every last minute with him. She approached his room and stopped as she saw a surprising scene unfold before her eyes. There was someone else in the room. Peering in through the glass window and trying to get a closer look, she could only make out the mess of hair on top of the visitor's head since he was bent over talking to the boy. She reached up on her tip toes and almost lost her footing as the man turned around, green-gold eyes staring right through her.

An audible gasp escaped her just in time for Carlisle to hear as he opened the door to Seth's room.

"Isabella, I knew you'd be here today." He smiled warmly at her. "I wanted to introduce you to your new intern."

He ushered her into the room, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. Her breathing picked up as she walked closer to the mystery man standing so close to a piece of her heart. She unwillingly gave Seth a piece, and she would protect him from anyone or anything until his last breath but her defensive stance slowly subsided the closer she got.

This disarmingly handsome man made her uneasy, not in the uncomfortable, creepy way, but like she had felt him before. It was impossible but there was just something about him. Deciding it was his eyes, she took a closer look. The green reminded her of a dream she had a few weeks ago. She couldn't remember anything about it except for the vivid green that settled behind her eyelids and startled her awake. And his scent... It was slightly different than Carlisle's, but similar enough for her to find comfort. _Hospital staff and their coffee, _she thought, _with all the over-nights it's no wonder we're all addicted. _He was definitely a dark roast with hints of chocolate. It was a sweet, strong smell and made him all the more inviting.

"Isabella Swan." She put out her hand, waiting for him to grab it.

Edward looked at her hand and then back to Carlisle and then back to her questioning eyes. He slowly took it and shook awkwardly. "Edward Masen."

And in that one split second, his world collapsed, breaking into a thousand smithereens.

He had never felt anything like that before. Well, he never felt _anything at all _before... Before their hands touched and all the things he used to see in people's minds came crushing down on him. Her hand was _warm, _her skin _smooth_ and as her fingers lightly squeezed his own, the molecules of his artificial blood increased their motion. He couldn't comprehend how he knew what all these sensations were, but he just knew. His heart suddenly sank and then started beating incredibly fast, making it hard for him to breathe.

He had never felt so..._human._

A ridiculous impossibility, but then again, Edward wasn't sure about the definition of _impossible_ anymore. The limits were becoming more and more obscure.

So for the first time ever, he just let it go.

Isabella squeezed his hand as he shook hers and stared into his eyes. As he stared back, she felt as if he was digging deep into the depths of her soul. It wasn't unpleasant. She felt a warmth start to radiate from inside and abruptly pulled her hand back. Things were becoming too intense for her liking. She was here for Seth and no one else, not even herself.

When she withdrew her hand, the magic was gone, leaving strange prickle to his skin, and he already missed it. He'd never been more grateful for the lack of temper which allowed him to keep the facade. He quickly switched his attention to Seth, catching the traces of the boy's thoughts with amusement. Seth thought that Edward definitely needed to make a pass at Bella.

_Bella._

Edward liked the sound of this name. He really wanted to be allowed to call her that. He really wanted to become her friend.

But she wouldn't let him. Between Seth and Edward, Seattle was quickly becoming a home and it scared her. She knew she would have to deal with the loss of Seth, but Edward wasn't part of the equation. And yet, since their first encounter, she found it hard not to think about him. She vowed to never let herself become dependent on another person, but she felt the need to be near him, to feel what she felt that first day they shook hands, to see his eyes search hers with reverence and mystery.

Edward's universe had narrowed to the size of Seth's ward. Every now and then, he tried to feel her touch again, accidentally brushing his fingers against hers when he took a book from her hands or helped her fix the monitors. He quickly became aware of how kind and caring she was; he didn't miss a single tear she blinked away. Sometimes he caught her looking at him in such strange way, like she knew him, like she could read _his_ mind... But once outside the room, Bella covered herself with an invisible shield, unwilling to communicate any longer.

One day he was helping her to sort out the test results in the lab. She was bending over a microscope, and suddenly caught him staring.

"What?" she asked.

He shook his head. "Nothing. It's just you're looking at it so intensely, like there's something really exciting."

She smiled and she pushed the microscope to him. "It is exciting. Take a look."

He looked through the eyepiece curiously, then raised his eyes back to her.

"That was the blood of a patient with leukemia that I've treated with my serum," she explained, removing the slide, and reached for his hand. "Now let's compare the affect it has on that healthy blood of yours."

He jerked his hand away, panicked. "No."

She rolled her eyes. "Men." Then she took a lancet and quickly pricked her own finger, letting a drop of blood fall into a clean slide. She didn't mind the pain; it only made her feel alive for a second. "Here. Take a look."

Every day he followed her home and every day she took her canvas bag and went to the ballet studio. And even though he couldn't read her mind, he was getting to know her better as he watched her fly across the room as if she had her own wings spread behind her back. _So beautiful. _He could see how vulnerable and yet passionate she was; her energy was like a magnetic pull, hitting him like a gust of invisible heat. Her reflection in the mirrors surrounding the studio walls was surreal like she belonged to another world.

xxxxxxx

It was a little before lunch and Bella was in the middle of an intense game of checkers with Seth when Edward walked in. She briefly looked up from the board and smiled, rose flushing her cheeks when she took in his attire: an open, unbuttoned navy dress shirt over a white fitted t-shirt, jeans, and a pair of black Converse sneakers. Her blush deepened when she saw how good he looked outside of the hospital scrubs.

"I didn't think you were working today," she said.

"I'm not. I have a surprise for Seth..." Edward looked down at his feet and then into her eyes again. "And you."

He reached into the back pocket of his jeans and pulled out three tickets. Bella gave him a questioning look and then he motioned to Seth with his eyes. She looked at the boy and her heart lurched; he was smiling so wide his cheeks puffed out like a chipmunk. She couldn't deny him. This very well could be the last time he would smile.

"No way!" Seth exclaimed. "Is this...is this for today's game against the Angels?" Edward nodded as he looked at Bella for reassurance. Although the boy was extremely weak, his spirit remained unwavering.

"Well, if we're going to make it, you will have to eat lunch at the game. How do you feel about corn dogs and chili fries?" she asked with a sincere grin.

The stadium wasn't too far from the hospital so they took a cab. Edward removed Seth's wheelchair from the trunk as Bella gladly handed over her money to the driver. She walked over to Edward and Seth, standing at the entrance way, both in awe of the structure in front of them.

"It's just a big field. Not too exciting." She laughed.

"I've only seen them on TV," Seth explained.

She stole a sideways glance at Edward and was shocked to see he was still staring.

"And what about you, mister?" she asked.

"Um... same." Edward blinked. He was trying so hard to block the noise of the thousands of thoughts buzzing in the stadium background.

Bella pushed Seth down the handicap ramp and found their seats which were directly behind home plate.

"For someone who's never been to a game, you certainly splurged on the seats." She chuckled.

Edward shrugged. He spent the morning in Carlisle's office; they both knew what day it was and just sat across from each other, not speaking but sharing the same thoughts. It was Carlisle who gave him the tickets and the chief's approval to sneak the boy out of the hospital.

Seth was already screaming his head off at the bogus call an umpire made. Edward leaned forward, a look of pure joy on his face. He couldn't care less about the game, but the boy's excitement was infectious and at some point he found himself sucked into it. But it was how relaxed and happy Bella finally looked that really mattered to him now, making his heart swell.

She watched him in wonder. His perfect lips turned up into a smirk and his eyes were brighter than the grass on the field. The bases were loaded and one good hit would bring them all home. The crack of the baseball bat against the ball was almost as loud as their cheering and laughter. Almost. She got up and placed a hand on Edward's shoulder and he instinctively placed his hand on top of hers, as if willing to keep her there. Instead of pulling it away, she lingered, enjoying the feeling. It was still unlike anything she had ever felt, cool to the touch but igniting electricity within her. It was like a grande jeté, being mid-air, exposed but powerful and alive.

"I'm going to get some food. I'll be right back."

He smiled at her before turning back to the game.

She walked up the steps to the concession stand, turning around every so often and watching Seth and Edward. It had been a really good day and she was happy they disregarded the rules and snuck Seth out of the hospital. He needed this day. They all did.

"How much for the Angels hat?" she asked the man.

"You want a hat for the opposing team. You know you're in Seattle, right?" The man laughed at her.

"I don't care. I'm an Angels kind of girl." Bella paid for three hats, two hot dogs, a corn dog, and a large bowl of chili fries.

She carefully followed the path back to the seats and Seth's eyes lit up when he saw the corn dog. "Here you go, bud. I got it extra greasy for you."

Then she handed a hot dog to Edward and he quirked an eyebrow at it.

"Don't even tell me you don't like hot dogs," she warned.

Edward inspected the odd piece of food. "I don't know if I like them."

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"I've never had one," Edward replied honestly.

"Are you even human?" Bella laughed as he slowly took a bite. He chewed precisely and then went back for more, not wanting to make her suspicious. He didn't feel the taste and the thought of having to regurgitate the food back later made him cringe internally, but he gave no sign. He caught himself enjoying pretending to be human and it confused him.

As they finished their food and the game was winding down, Bella pulled out the hats. "I got you both a present." She passed the baseball cap down to Seth and he quickly took off his Orioles hat and put on the new one.

"Nice! Thank you, Bella," Seth exclaimed.

She still held onto the hat she bought for Edward and hesitantly reached over him to put it on his head, refusing to admit to herself that the close proximity excited her. She was still within inches of him and had no intentions of moving away.

"Thank you," Edward said, breaking the silence.

It was the bottom of the ninth, and the Angels were far enough ahead that there was no way they could lose. The air was getting chilly and Bella thought it would be a good idea to head back to the hospital, but watching Seth, she wouldn't dream of taking these last few minutes away from him. He was so happy. He was always in a good mood, but something about being outside and doing something healthy boys did was very freeing. He stood up and started to clap loudly, waiting for the last pitch. One more strike and the game was over. His tiny frame started to sway; he was coughing and gasping for air but his cries were muffled by the cheers around them. Suddenly he fell to the ground in front of his wheelchair and Bella screamed.

"SETH!"

Edward didn't hesitate for a second as he quickly scooped the boy into his arms and started towards the exit. His thoughts were racing; he knew it wasn't his time yet, but the boy was in agony and the need to help him, to do something, anything was overwhelming. Never in his lifetime had he felt so powerless. He assumed someone of his kind was involved with the way the crowd parted to let them pass; within minutes, they were outside and in the cab.

"Sweetie, I need you to take slow, deep breaths," Bella explained. She was rubbing small, soothing circles on the boy's back. "That's it. In and out...in and out..."

Seth was breathing heavily. He regained consciousness and tried to manage a smile, but Edward could hear the echoes of the searing pain he was in. "That was..." he coughed hard "...hands down, the best day of my life," he said in a weak voice. "Thank you."

"Shhh," Bella hushed him. "You need to try to rest now. Okay?"

"I don't feel tired."

She shook her head but didn't object, turning her face to the window to hide her tears.

Finally, they made it back to the hospital. They connected the monitors and a nurse came in to give Seth an IV. Bella put an oxygen mask on the boy's face; she knew the pain would increase over night, so she gave him a dose of morphine.

"You should try to get some sleep now," she said softly. "Do you want me to read to you?"

Seth nodded, so she took a book from the nightstand, sat in "her" chair, and slowly began to read.

Edward came up to the head of the bed and tucked the blanket in. For a second, his eyes met Seth's and he saw the boy's growing alarm. Slowly, he leaned in and lightly pressed his lips to Seth's forehead.

The fear in the boy's eyes quickly dissipated; his lids grew heavy and soon he was in a deep slumber. Edward quietly came around the bed and stopped by Bella's side. "He's asleep," he whispered. "You're tired. Go home. I'll watch him."

She shut the book and rubbed her weary eyes. "Thank you." She got up, her look darting from the sleeping boy to Edward. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

He nodded. She grabbed her purse and made her way out of the room, feeling emotionally drained. It wasn't so much Seth's relapse but the fact that she went from incredibly happy to completely devastated in such a short period of time. It had been so long since she felt pure joy and it was quickly and cruelly ripped away from her.

xxxxxxx

For the first time in many months, Seth was sleeping peacefully. The pain subsided and he finally relaxed when he suddenly felt someone's presence in his room and opened his eyes. The moon shone brightly through the window, leaving the path of light on the floor. He noticed a figure in the darkened corner, but for some reason he wasn't afraid of this night visitor. He couldn't see him in the dark but he knew who it was.

"Have you come for me?" he asked.

Edward took a step forward and gave a slight nod.

"Wow," Seth said, taking in Edward's celestial look, his white cloak with the gleam of silver, the fluttering of feathers on the edges of the wide wings folded behind his back. "You look so cool... I knew it. I knew angels existed."

Edward smiled, coming closer to the boy's bed, and reached out for him.

"I'm glad it's you," Seth said quietly, taking his hand. "Where are we going?"

"Home."

"Can Wolf come too? He's a good dog, I swear."

"I'm sorry." Edward shook his head.

"Will you watch over him?"

"I will. I promise." He would think about it later, but now he decided he would keep that promise no matter what.

"Okay. I'm ready to go then."

So they went together along the moonlit path, the angel and the boy. It was a quiet night and thousands of stars dotted the dark sky, reflecting the silver of Edward's clothes. Seth was basking in the warmth of that glow.

"May I ask you something?" Edward turned to the boy when they reached the tall gates of the church that stood at the end of their way.

"Shoot."

"What was the one thing you loved the most?"

Seth looked at him and grinned. "Bella."


	3. Chapter 3

xxxxxxx

Bella came into the hospital extra early to visit Seth before starting her morning rounds. She raced to his room only to find an empty bed.

"Where is he?" she shouted.

The orderly paused from changing the sheets and turned around. "The little boy? He's gone. Passed sometime late last night."

"Seth," she cried. "His name was Seth."

She knew she had to be strong but couldn't hold back the tears any longer. The dam burst. She couldn't rope in her emotions anymore. She was drowning in a sea of pain and feared that no matter how hard she tried to resurface, she would be lost at sea. Just as she was about to fall apart, a pair of comforting arms swooped in around her, pulling her into a tight embrace. The sobs ripped through her and she hugged him tighter, holding onto the only life preserver in her life of sorrow.

"Shhh, Bella. It's okay, I'm here." She looked up at him and smiled through her tears.

"He's the only one who called me that...besides my mother." She choked back another cry. "I like the way it sounds when you say it."

"Bella," he whispered again, his chest suddenly feeling heavy.

"This is all my fault! If we didn't...he wouldn't..."

Edward interrupted her. "It's not _your_ fault. You made him so happy but this would have happened, regardless. It's what God wanted."

She wormed her way out of his hold and took a few steps back, starring at him incredulously. "How can you say that? That beautiful, wonderful little boy is gone. Dead. This is what your God wanted, Edward?"

He didn't understand what he said wrong. He missed Seth already, but it was meant to be. It was his path, even though Edward didn't quite agree with God's intentions.

"I'm sorry." He walked back over to her and took her hands in his. "I wish very much that you could have saved him, but no amount of tears can ever fix anything..." He paused. "I promise you he's in a much better place. He is no longer suffering."

"He was just a boy," she cried. He merely nodded, unable to find the words. "How can you be so calm about this? I know you're upset because you loved him too. Say something...get angry! Cry! Scream!"

"I...I'm not very good at expressing emotions," he stuttered. "I'm okay..."

"No you're not." She squeezed his hand. "Come on. I want to take you somewhere."

As they drove in silence, reflecting on their loss, Bella decided to give a piece of herself to Edward. It was all she had to give.

"You know why I became a doctor?" she began. "Because I couldn't cut it as a dancer. After my mother died, all I wanted to do was make her happy. Some ridiculous part of me thought that maybe she was looking down on me from heaven, that if I made her proud then maybe I would get to see her again. So I trained for hours. I danced until my toes bled. And when I went to my audition at Julliard, I bombed. I fell apart on stage. After that, I decided I was done."

"She is very proud of you," Edward said quietly.

She just chuckled humorlessly.

Soon, they pulled into the dance studio's parking lot. Bella's CD was still in the player. As she pressed play, the sorrow filled voices of a man and a woman startled Edward, but he never stopped searching Bella's eyes. She stalked towards him and extended her hand as the tortured man sang, _"I don't know you, but I want you."_

He paused, looking at her hand and finally took it, following her to the center of the dance floor. She turned to face him, her eyes scanning the inhumanely beautiful features of his face. _Everything about him is perfect,_ she thought, _from his perfectly chiseled jaw line to his impervious eyes. _She guided his arm to the proper position and grasped his hand. His other hand rested on the small of her back as she pulled herself closer to him.

"Just relax. Feel the music," she said.

They slowly started to sway as the music picked up. Before he realized it, they were gliding across the floor. She never took her eyes off of his. The little flecks of gold around his irises caught the dim lights of the studio. So much was hidden beneath those eyes, she longed to find out what exactly it was. Taking a few steps back, she twirled around so her back was pressed into his chest. His face was impossibly close to the back of her bare neck. She could feel his warm breath, causing her hairs to stand on end. Their eyes met in the mirror as the man continued to sing,_ "Falling slowly, eyes that know me and I can't go back." _

Bella had spent the majority of her adult life building walls around her heart. She tried so hard not to become attached to anyone or anything because she knew how easy it could disappear. What she felt for Edward was so intense she wondered if it would be worth the fall.

She reached behind her and wrapped her hands around his neck, forcing them closer. She couldn't get close enough. Edward took his own hands and rested them on her abdomen, a surge of warmth shooting through her. Everything was falling apart and coming together at the same time. The life she knew, the cold, the distance, was crumbling around her feet as they danced. The hope of something better was blossoming inside her. He slowly traced his hand up her side, the crook of her neck and lingering behind her ear. Her cheeks were stained with tears, and he used the pad of his thumb to wipe them away. As Edward soothed her silently with his touch, the singer soothed her with his words. _"You have suffered enough and warred with yourself. It's time that you won." _

The song ended and they stood still, so close that it was burning hot where they touched. She was afraid of the unbidden pull she felt for him, but she didn't have it in her to resist anymore. When her eyes darted from his eyes to his lips, she gasped, Edward felt like his whole body started humming with some intangible current. The control he had over it was slipping with every second, giving in to curiosity and something else, something inconceivable but potent. His hands moved as if on their own volition, cupping her face.

She felt his hesitation—_as if he's never kissed a woman_, she thought. His beauty in such proximity was shocking and yet inviting; she found herself enveloped in his scent that made the need to taste him almost compelling. And she did it. Very slowly, holding her breath, she leaned in and softly pressed her lips to his.

It lasted barely a second before he pulled away, overwhelmed by the intensity of his own reaction. It was like a shot of some powerful drug, making his blood boil all over from his lips to the tips of his fingers. Too much and not enough.

"Sorry," he whispered. He didn't want to wound her, but he knew without reading her mind that he had.

"It's okay. Really. I understand." She stepped back, instantly regretting her weak moment. She shouldn't have let him into her world. She was wrong. Whatever it was that she felt during the dance was misplaced. She was emotional over Seth and let her guard down.

"No, you don't." His eyes shot up to hers. "I like you, Bella. But it's just...complicated."

There was no amount of words that would do any of it justice. Bella had changed his whole vision of the world, and he desperately wanted to give her something wonderful in return—something amazing, something that would change her own life, enrich it and make her smile. Ironically, the way he was made out of God's love for humans, he could guide and comfort them but not make them feel joyful and happy. It was beyond his abilities to give her the love that she deserved.

She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and shook her head. Without saying a word, she turned away and practically stormed out of the room, leaving him standing there alone, completely and utterly lost.

He didn't follow her. He was supposed to make her feel better but somehow managed to hurt her instead and it upset him greatly. To distract himself, he decided to take up his obligations. Still overwhelmed after what just transpired, he reached the deserted post office in the outskirts of the city, opened his mailbox, and produced a stack of new assignments. He flipped through the papers, one by one, finding it hard to concentrate because his mind was elsewhere, until he reached the last sheet and froze, suddenly alert. His eyes must have been deceiving him; it couldn't be true. He didn't know if angels could hallucinate, but he was hoping with all his being that was the case.

He squeezed his eyes shut and opened them again. The words were still there. They didn't go away, the finality of black on white.

He had never felt so hopeless. His mind raced; he wanted to scream, to break something. He grabbed the mailbox, intending to tear it from the wall, when suddenly his arms were in a vice grip. He tried to break free, but it was pointless. There were two of them, dark figures, expressionless faces. The messengers.

"I wouldn't do that," a calm voice warned him.

They led him outside, holding him tight like he was a prisoner. A flashy Porsche with tinted windows was parked just around the corner. One of the messengers opened the door while the other pushed him inside. The car started a second before the door was closed behind him, gaining speed on the highway towards Olympia.

"He knew you would overreact," a clear voice to his left chimed. "So He asked me to make sure you won't do anything reckless."

"Why, Alice?" he gasped, turning to face her. "Why her? Is it because I felt something I'm not supposed to? Because I have overstepped my bounds? Is He trying to punish me?"

She hissed. "Don't be stupid. You know He doesn't punish anyone. Didn't it occur to you that this has nothing to do with you? That her time has just come?"

"But she's so young," he whispered. "So selfless, so kind... she deserves to_ live._"

Alice nodded, her eyes trained on the road. "Did you ever happen to think that maybe she deserves something better than _this_ life? That she deserves some peace?"

"I refuse to accept that answer," he spat. For the first time, he questioned his ability to do his job.

"This is why He asked me to bring you. He wants to talk to you."

He stared ahead of him, frozen. They were silent for a while; Edward tried to peek into Alice's thoughts but her mind was impenetrable as usual. The car made its way up the mountain, slowing down as it almost reached the top.

"You don't have to do it," Alice finally said. "But He assumed you'd want to."

"I want to." He suddenly realized that if there was one thing he could do for Bella, it was this and he just couldn't bear the thought of it being someone else.

"Great." Alice smiled wide. "I bet on you, by the way. And Edward, don't take it too hard on Jasper. He's just doing his job."

"Did you know it would end up this way?"

"Uh-huh."

"You should have warned me."

"Would it change anything if you knew?"

He didn't reply. The car came to a halt in front of a modest white house. "You should go," Alice said. "He doesn't like to wait."

Edward opened the door but paused with his hand on the handle, suddenly remembering something. "Alice, I met someone whose name is Carlisle. He asked me to say hi to you."

"I know."

"So it's true what he told me?"

"Every single word."

Edward nodded.

"Good luck," Alice whispered as his lean form retreated towards the house.

xxxxxxx

The following night, Bella couldn't sleep again. She kept replaying the scene from the dance studio in her head, feeling ashamed of her immature behavior. By the time the morning came, she was determined to talk to Edward and apologize. She was going to prove to him, and most of all to herself, that their relationship was strictly professional and it would be better for everyone if it stayed that way.

When she arrived at the hospital, he wasn't there yet. He didn't even appear by lunchtime. It was odd; she knew he was supposed to be there. By the end of the afternoon, she grew antsy and before going home, decided to go ask Carlisle.

She knocked tentatively on the hardwood door of his office.

"Come in," a soft voice said.

"Afternoon, Chief."

"Afternoon, Isabella." He smiled sincerely and motioned her to the chair in front of his desk. "What brought you here?"

She took a seat and her hands found the hem of her blouse. "I just wanted to ask about Edward. He didn't come to work today and I started to worry about him...and then I realized I don't have his number." She chuckled nervously. She hadn't felt so stupid since her high school days.

Carlisle sighed and put aside the papers he was reading. "I'm sorry to say that but Edward won't be coming back. His mission here is complete and he has returned home."

She cocked her head to the side. "Where is home? I don't understand. What do you mean 'mission'? I thought he was an intern and the program was fourteen weeks."

"Edward wasn't an ordinary intern." He prayed that she would at least try to understand what he was going to tell her without calling him a psycho. He took a breath. "He's not like the rest of us."

"What do you mean, not like us? I thought he was going to be a doctor." Something inside always told her he was different...but different was oddly comforting.

Carlisle imagined this talk would be hard, but he had no idea just how much. "You remember once I asked you if you believed in God?"

She nodded. "But what it has to do—"

"What would you say if I told you that God exists and Edward is one of his messengers?"

Bella snorted. "Are you kidding me? Very funny, Dr. Cullen. Ha-ha. And what was his so-called mission?"

He hated to say the words, but he had to. "It was the boy, Seth. Edward came after him."

"Don't." She got up abruptly, pushing the chair with a loud squeak. "How can you joke about that?" Her look was pained. She came to find some support, but he was being cynical and cryptic with her instead.

Carlisle shook his head. "I'm not joking."

"I don't believe you," she snapped, turning to leave. She had nothing left to do here in this office, in this hospital, in this city. She was done with cruelty.

"Some things are true whether you believe in them or not," he said softly. The loud banging of the door was the only reply he got.

Bella didn't remember how she got home. Choking on her tears, she thought about Carlisle. She trusted him and now she felt betrayed. She was glad she hadn't unpacked yet; it was easier to move, even if she didn't know where she was going yet, it would be somewhere far from here.

She started pacing across the room, Carlisle's words still ringing in her ears. It was a complete nonsense but for some reason she couldn't get them out of her head. Always a rational being, she didn't believe things she could not see. But as her thoughts returned to Edward, she was confused again. He was too good to be real. She assumed he was shy, but what if... _Leave it to me_, she thought bitterly, _the only guy I am interested in isn't even a guy. He isn't even human._

She shivered as she suddenly remembered the creepy feeling that someone had been watching her... _It can't be true_, she kept telling herself. But what if it was? What if it was him? What if God really existed? Frustration was grabbing a hold of her and there was only one person that could give her the answers she needed.

She stopped by the window, impassively watching the raindrops rolling down in intricate rivulets. It was dark outside and no matter how hard she tried to make out the familiar ghostly silhouette, she failed.

"Come to me," she whispered, tracing the patterns the rain had drawn on the cool glass with her fingers. "Let me see you. Please. I need to talk to you."

She held her breath, straining to hear any indication that she wasn't alone in the room. There was none.

She sighed and it suddenly occurred to her that he might be waiting for her in a different place—the place where she had left him.

She turned abruptly, grabbed her car keys from the rack, and rushed out of her house into the raging storm.

What she didn't know was that he was there. He was always there and this time was no different.

xxxxxxx

Tyler Crowley was driving home from work in his "new" old car. It was raining hard and the traffic was heavy, so he decided to use a different route. He only had his driver's license for a month and he didn't know this part of the town well, so he kept the speed low, watching out for the road signs to indicate that he was going the right way. Invisible to him, Jasper shifted uncomfortably in the passenger seat.

The whole situation annoyed Tyler because he was tired after work and just wanted to get home. It was too late when he realized that he missed the right turn; he cursed and grabbed the map. His hands left the wheel for a second, but it was more than enough time for his car to lose grip of the slippery road and shift to the lane of the oncoming traffic. Hating what he was doing, Jasper grasped the wheel, saving his charge from an inevitable head-on collision with an oak tree.

Bella turned the stereo volume to the max, because it numbed her senses, and drummed her fingers on the wheel in a life-long habit of beating time. She turned onto the narrow road and noticing it was empty, except for the one car coming in the opposite direction, stepped on the gas.

The blow was so sudden the she didn't have time to process what was going on. In no time at all, her small car spun around uncontrollably, hit the telephone pole, and finally stopped.

The pain was everywhere; it felt like there wasn't a single cell of her body that wouldn't ache. She wanted to scream but she couldn't find her voice. And then she was dying. She had stared death in the face so many times that she knew it so well. In the back of her mind, a voice told her to fight but she dismissed it. She was so tired and all she wanted was some rest. She wasn't afraid of the death; she even welcomed it as deliverance from all the pain—the physical pain she felt now and the pain of her soul that accompanied her through the years.

She heard distant voices, grinding of metal, ambulance sirens, but it was so quiet compared to her own hammering, frantic heartbeat, getting louder and faster with each second. Thud, thud, thud...

And then there was silence.

Suddenly the pain was gone and when she opened her eyes, she found herself standing in a very strange place. It looked like a meadow, the bright sun shining upon the green grass sprinkled with thousands of flowers. It wasn't hot but comfortably warm and very peaceful and quiet. It was the most wonderful dream she had ever had.

"Bella." The familiar musical voice called. She looked around her in amazement and gasped as she saw him. Her memory didn't pay him justice; he was breathtakingly, flawlessly beautiful and what shocked her the most—he had wings. It took her a second to take in his new attire and she found that these unusually pale clothes suited him even better than the casual things he used to wear to the hospital.

"Is this real?" she asked.

"Yes."

"So you are..." she struggled for a word. "...An angel."

"Yes."

She looked into his eyes; they were immensely sad. It surprised her; she used to think angels weren't supposed to cry, but she wasn't sure about her notions anymore. "And this place is..."

A faint smile finally lighted up his features. "You can call it whatever you like." He held out and took her hand, sending familiar tingles across her skin. "Let's go. There's someone waiting for you."

They walked together, holding hands, and even though Bella had a thousand questions, they suddenly became irrelevant. She heard the distant sounds of music, more beautiful than anything she heard before. Finally, they reached the intricate fence, behind which stood an apple tree garden in bloom, and stopped by the gate. There, among the trees, she saw white swings. A lone figure in white sat on the swings with his back to them so Bella couldn't see his face but everything about him was suddenly familiar and dear. She pressed her hand to her mouth because she understood. She wanted to cry but there were no tears so she just choked back the sob and turn to face Edward. He was smiling sheepishly.

Without saying a word, he released her hand and opened the gate. She made two hesitant steps and noticed that he hadn't moved. "Aren't you coming?" she asked, confused.

He shook his head. "I haven't deserved that."

"Have I? I didn't believe in God."

"It doesn't matter. He loves you all the same."

Bella nodded. She suddenly realized it was time to say good bye and she didn't want to let him go.

"May I ask you something?" His melodic voice carried the trace of melancholy.

"Sure."

"What did you like best in your life?"

She didn't think for a second because she knew the answer. "You."

If he were in his human form, his artificial heart would break into thousand pieces. He wasn't supposed to feel anything as an angel, but something deep inside of him hurt nonetheless as he thought he would never see her again. The longing to be with her, to give her all he could, all the _love_ he suddenly realized he had, overfilled him.

And then he knew.

He knew if there was just a glimmer of hope, no matter how small the chance that he would deserve to see her again, he had to take it. He would try his best, and then maybe...

He smiled again and it seemed to her she saw a tear rolling down his perfect face. And then the pulled her into an embrace so warm that it felt like she was dissolving into him. She didn't feel regret or sorrow anymore, only the desire to stay wrapped in his arms forever.

She felt loved.

xxxxxxx

_Seven years later_

A shiny silver Volvo pulled into the staff parking lot of Seattle Children's Hospital. The driver stopped the car but didn't turn off the ignition until the last notes of the music track stopped resounding. He inhaled deeply, letting the smell of new leather fill his nostrils. He chose this car because of its safety but it also suited his tendency to surround himself with things that pleased his senses.

He grabbed his briefcase and his Starbucks cup and stepped outside. It was chilly and he shivered, cursing himself for not bringing a jacket. Winter started early this year and he was too absorbed with work to notice it.

He made his way down the hallway, stopping a few times to shake hands with his co-workers and giving mysterious half-smiles in return to the women's always too enthusiastic greetings. He didn't particularly like the attention, but he tried his best to be friendly with his peers.

"Morning, Mrs. Cope," he addressed the receptionist in a soft, melodic voice. "My first appointment is at eight thirty and I'd like to see the Patient and Family Information form."

_He looks tired,_ she thought. _He's working too much. Does he even sleep? Hmm, what I wouldn't give to see him in other color than black..._

"Good morning," she said aloud. "Are you ever going to bring that dog of yours again to visit? The kids really loved him."

He smiled kindly and nodded. Proceeding to the window of his office, he opened the Venetian blinds. He stood there for a while, watching the morning sun paint the sky in a thousand shades of red and pink, then came up to his mahogany desk and touched his MacBook keyboard. The screen came alive, revealing a picture of a woman. Her slender, pale body was a beautiful contrast against her black leotard. Although the photo was taken from afar, everything about this woman showed unbridled happiness as the camera caught her mid-air in a grand jeté.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

The day of Edward Masen, MD, professor of Psychiatry and Behavioral Medicine, had begun.

* * *

><p><em><span>Author's End Note<span>: Thank you for reading! If you liked this, you should definitely check Between Dusk and the End of Summer by my collaborator Maxipoo1024 (FFN Story ID 6824582). It is such an incredible, sincere, heartbreaking story.  
><em>

_Merry Christmas and God bless y'all! xxx_


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